sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
