I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
