the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize