So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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