Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
