i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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