this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
