I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
