I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Randomize
