dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
