My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
