My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
