Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
