Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
