Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah

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(773): View more from Illinois

well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.

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(516): View more from New York

shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...

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(301): View more from Maryland

I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!

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