Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize