Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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