That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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