I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize