I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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