does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
