Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
