i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
