He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
