hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
