i need an iv and a liver transplant
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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