ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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