she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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