And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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