that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Dicks are not precious.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
