So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So vagazzling was a success
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
