The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
