you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
