chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
