Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
