And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
