I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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