i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
