Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
