i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
