Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
