Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
