My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
