so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
