Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"

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(561): View more from Florida

Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.

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(209): View more from California

I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five

(1-262): View more from Wisconsin

bitch

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(516): View more from New York

She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.

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(404): View more from Georgia

In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?

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