Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
