this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
