I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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