I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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