i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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