Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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