Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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