hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
