thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
