I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
