hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
