New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
