you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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