Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
someone owes me an orgasm
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
