White coat. Heels.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
