it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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