I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
