Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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