question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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