He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
